Live, Laugh and Love What You Do
And….we’re BACK!
The cloud is lifting, the masks are off and wedding celebrations are back! As excited as all wedding planners were at the prospect of a bustling, lucrative season in 2022 we can’t help but notice some things feel very different than before the pandemic. Most importantly…where did everyone go? I feel like we’re all looking around wondering the same thing…where are all the hard workers? During the pandemic, many in the wedding industry were furloughed or laid off but it doesn’t look like they are coming back. The result? A lot of unfilled positions and wedding planners scrambling to find our essential worker bees to operate events.
So where do we find these workers, ones with a good work ethic and realistic expectations - you know, the ones who don’t expect $100 an hour to tray pass appetizers! (Believe me, if that was an option we’d be out of wedding planning and in the tray passing biz!) And once we find them, how do we keep them from burning out?
The truth is that navigating the post-COVID wedding industry means that planners are wearing more hats than ever. Call it the curse of the super competent person, but if something needs to be done that a planner can do, and there’s no one around to do it, we just jump right in.
Story time!
Recently, in the middle of a wedding set up we were informed that the pastry chef had COVID and could not complete the cake. As the planner, I did what planners do - I problem solved. I went out and picked up a pre-made cake. I re-did the frosting and covered the cake with flowers and decorations - enough to cover up my not-so-expert frosting job. And even though it was only a dummy cake, I made it work and saved the day.
In what could have been a disastrous situation, I found a way through it using my on-the-ground problem solving….and a healthy dose of humor. Now I have a funny story to tell and I can add expert cake decorator to my resume! A little laughter and perspective goes a long way to keeping the work we do manageable.
“It’s your outlook on life that counts. If you take yourself lightly and don’t take yourself too seriously, pretty soon you can find the humor in our everyday lives. And sometimes it can be a lifesaver.”
- Betty White
So the pastry chef is sick and the cake isn’t coming. You could scream and yell and cry and tear your hair out…or you could laugh your way through it. Our work can be stressful, but whether you’re furiously re-frosting a store-bought cake to make it look like a work of art or you’re running around a beach wedding set up raking up as much seaweed as you can so it doesn’t show in the pictures - sometimes you just have to let out a chuckle.
But don’t take my word for it, it’s actually science! Any amount of laughter has both short and long term benefits.
According to the Mayo Clinic, “when you start to laugh, it doesn't just lighten your load mentally, it actually induces physical changes in your body. Laughter can:
Stimulate many organs. Laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain.
Activate and relieve your stress response. A rollicking laugh fires up and then cools down your stress response, and it can increase and then decrease your heart rate and blood pressure. The result? A good, relaxed feeling.
Soothe tension. Laughter can also stimulate circulation and aid muscle relaxation, both of which can help reduce some of the physical symptoms of stress.”
So how can we use this information to help promote better comradery, better communication, and better coordination with our teams? Here’s a few ideas:
Toasts and Roasts. Find a time for some “Toasts” and “Roasts” during weekly team meetings or debriefs. Go around the room and give everyone a chance to “toast” the accomplishments and laugh at the silly stuff in a good-natured “roast”. (Tip: if you’re poking some light-hearted fun at wedding attendees, I recommend you do this off-site!).
Improv Games - Improv is a blend of comedy, creativity and collaboration and is great to use for team building. Using games and activities to energize and engage your team is a great way to make meetings more successful and have fun as a group…plus, you’ll be guaranteed to laugh!
Go see a local comedy show. Many cities have at least one venue that presents live comedy every night of the week, and it’s a cheap and fun way to show appreciation for your team and get that sweet release of laughter.
“You can have it all, just not all at once.” — Oprah Winfrey
You can laugh all you want, and it will help, but at the end of the day you still need to strike the right balance even during the busy times. Here’s a few ways I’ve found to keep myself grounded and able to do my best work:
TLC: During peak season, it’s hard to catch a break. We can laugh through it and fight through it but at the end of the day, there’s really no replacement for some good ole TLC. Think about it: having a good relationship with a massage therapist is essential for wedding planners. We’re always wheeling and dealing for our clients and engaged couples…it’s okay to sometimes use those connections for ourselves every once in a while (and I bet your clients would agree!!).
Take a beat: Wedding pros love to be the person that says “Put me in, coach!” when something needs to get done. But take a beat before you say YES to everything. Make sure you’re looking at all of your available resources, all the tools in your toolkit before you add something else to your plate. Sometimes there won’t be anyone or any thing else that can do the job and you actually do have to step in, but more often than not if you take a beat, take a breath and slow down for a second you’ll find that you’re surrounded by resources and team members who are there to help.
Find your tribe: Find a supportive community - even if you’re too busy to meet in person, just having a community that will shoot you a “Thinking of you” or “Proud of you” text means so much. During wedding season none of us have a lot of time, but you know those late nights where you’re still working? Shoot a text to one of your fellow industry buddies - chances are, they’re up and working just like you. And if not, a little encouragement is almost certainly headed your way. But where can you find a great community like this? We’ve got you covered there too! Check out the Refined Membership and all that it has to offer. As a part of the Refined Membership, you’ll join a community where both you and your business can grow through workshops, soulful coaching, and our infamous Cafe Crawls - plus it’s some of the most fun you can have at work!
With some TLC, some perspective and a supportive community around you, you don’t have to wait until you’re in the bathroom with some peace and quiet to get those creative juices flowing (ew!). A good community also means you don’t have to be the only one up at 1am trying to figure out how to get a specialty chair ubered 2.5 hours from Los Angeles for your luxury wedding tomorrow - someone will always be there to support you, inspire you and cheer you on!
Live, Laugh, and Love What You Do
When you think about what a wedding planner’s work actually entails, it’s so much more than months of planning and spreadsheets or day-of coordination. We also have to be family therapists, hand holders and people wranglers. We have to give each couple our best every time, all the time. We have to dot all the i’s and cross all the t’s and stay hyper-focused on the details while still seeing the big picture through someone else’s eyes. Working in the wedding industry can be a lot to handle whether you are a month-of wedding coordinator, a wedding assistant or the full-service wedding planner.
When we let the stress get to us, it’s easy to forget that our work is immensely, tremendously, FUN. The actual work of a wedding planner is fun in a way that no investment banker or tech company CEO or professional underwater basketweaver could ever understand (okay, maybe the basketweaver…that actually sounds pretty cool).
Even in the rough times, when a wedding planner can keep their sense of humor and laugh through the stress, you’ll find that problems can be solved and work can be incredibly enjoyable - and even healthy - for their entire team.
xoxo Suher